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Balancing financial goals and social pressures in Lagos might be one of the most challenging conflicts I have had to deal with as an adult, and I am not alone. Every weekend, it seems, I have to attend another owambe, respond to another aso-ebi request, or buy another birthday gift, as I quietly try to save towards something bigger and better. Today, I want to openly discuss this issue because I believe it deserves more attention, and I would like to share some practical tips on how to avoid becoming the “tight” friend in the group while still managing to achieve my financial goals.
Unlike in other parts of the country, living on a budget in Lagos is exceptionally difficult due to the unique combination of the visible wealth around you, commuting costs, and the social pressure to participate in the local culture of opulence. According to the NAIJASABI guide to living on a survival budget in Lagos, the inability to participate fully in this cultural expectation is the main reason why residents here find themselves in such dire financial situations. The truth is that managing finances and social pressures in Lagos is exceptionally difficult because the embarrassment that comes with not being able to afford to participate in certain events makes people open up their wallets more than they intend to.
I think it is essential to note that this is a unique pressure only residents of Lagos can identify with. After all, it is not just about the practicality of living within your means, but rather the social pressure that comes with living in one of the most expensive cities in Africa. If you are wondering why financial goals and social pressures in Lagos appear to be at such odds with each other, it is partially due to this local cultural expectation.
If you have ever lived in Lagos for more than a couple of years, you are no stranger to the concept of aso-ebi. According to an article by WithinNigeria on the aso-ebi economy, every Saturday in Lagos, somebody is getting married, somebody is having a naming ceremony, and somebody is turning another year older. Naturally, every one of these events has to have an aso-ebi. As the article correctly notes, the social pressure to participate in the local aso-ebi culture is what funds much of the Nigerian economy.
As someone who has tried to live within my means while still participating in the local social events, I can say with a high degree of certainty that financial goals and social pressures in Lagos are difficult to balance. Simply put, aso-ebi is a direct drain on your finances, unless you are exceptionally selective about which events you choose to participate in. However, if you begin refusing people, you might find yourself in a socially awkward situation. I do not think there is a definitive answer here, but I can assure you that being strategic about which events you agree to participate in will help you save more money in the long run.
Besides the aso-ebi and owambe culture, there is another social pressure that comes with living in Lagos that affects your finances, and that is the expectation to look after your family. According to HabaNaija’s article on the financial pressure in Nigeria, the family-oriented nature of Nigerian society ultimately translates into a number of Nigerians always looking to the next of kin for financial support whenever a personal crisis erupts. Unfortunately, refusing to support family members comes with its own social price, so some people stretch their budgets a lot to avoid that.
When it comes to managing financial goals and social pressures in Lagos, I think it is essential to recognize that sometimes it is not just about refusing to pay for an event or support a family member when they ask for help. It is crucial to set realistic limits so that you do not put yourself in a financially precarious position simply to avoid offending someone. If possible, set aside specific funds for assisting family members and never exceed that amount so that you can always support them, but to a reasonable extent.
According to the NAIJASABI guide on managing finances in Lagos, budgeting tips for Lagos residents have to be inherently different from those used in other Nigerian cities simply because your primary income source is not enough to cover living expenses for more than one person. The guide suggests that it is crucial to have a second source of income, even if it is only supplemental, because for many Lagosians, it takes a very long time to get to a point where their primary wage is sufficient. This piece of advice resonated with me on a very personal level, as I have had to set aside funds for personal expenses before I could begin saving consistently for my long-term financial goals.
I think it is also essential to recognize that setting aside extra funds for social expenses such as aso-ebi or family support can make a huge difference to your ability to achieve your financial goals. It made it much easier for me, at least, to navigate the high social expectations of Lagos while still being able to save towards my goals.
Now that we have discussed the most crucial aspects of managing finances and social pressures in Lagos, let me share a few final thoughts and practical tips for doing so. First of all, I think it is essential to set very realistic spending limits for social expenses for yourself and to adhere to those limits strictly. Secondly, it is a good idea to differentiate between social obligations that come from within (choosing to support a friend or a family member) and those that are imposed upon you (when someone expects you to pay for something).
Furthermore, it is crucial to learn to say no when you cannot afford to participate financially in someone’s life. I have always found it much easier to say no to an aso-ebi request if I am not comfortable paying for it right now, rather than agreeing to it and then resenting myself for having done so later. Lastly, it is also a good idea to set aside funds for social expenses in advance so that they are automatically deducted from your income so that it is harder to lie to yourself about where that money is going.
I think it is also essential to note that learning to manage financial goals and social pressures in Lagos is crucial for more reasons than just being able to save money. According to the NAIJASABI guide, the constant pressure to overspend in order to participate in the local culture takes a toll on the psyche of Lagos residents, and that is something I agree with on a very personal level. Managing these two aspects of our lives is not just about having more money; it is about having better mental health in the long run.
I do think it is important to explore the relationship between Lagos residents’ financial goals and social pressures in order to understand why the two are so difficult to balance. After all, as the BusinessDay article on Lagos State’s welfare programs notes, the state government has had to open up its budget to fund a number of social welfare programs for residents, as the rising cost of living and inflation took a toll on the local economy. The fact that the government has finally acknowledged the issue is helpful in understanding why managing finances in Lagos is exceptionally difficult. For me, at least, knowing that the entire government is struggling to adjust to the needs of the average Lagosian means I am not alone in finding it hard to set aside extra money for social expenses besides my salary.
In conclusion, I do not think it is an exaggeration to say that managing finances in Lagos will always be exceptionally difficult simply due to the social pressures of the city. However, understanding why financial goals and social pressures in Lagos exist in such fragile balance is the first step to developing practical ways of managing both. Above all, I think it is essential to accept that some level of tension between the two will always be present, and focus on developing practical mechanisms for managing that tension, rather than denying it altogether.